By Michelle Ricketts, February 2022

Greetings Are Important

Have you noticed that when people say "How are you," they seem to use it the same way as saying "hello"? Why is that? When did it start to become a greeting and not a question? A greeting is "Hello," "Hey," "Hi," or from Down Under  "G'day Mate. "How are you" is a question which suggests it needs an answer. Yet, many people in our fast-paced world today have decided it is part of their greeting. They don't wait to hear how you're doing, and they don't seem to care.

Listening Skill

Listening more than you speak is a good rule of thumb. There's no listening involved with" How are you" as a greeting. If you don't want an answer, you shouldn't be asking the question. It's not complicated, but it amazes me how often I hear people greet with "Hello,  how are you," all in the same breath without a pause. Then they start talking about what they have on their mind or agenda. Whether it's business or pleasure, they handle it the same way.

Why Does it Matter?

I care when I say, "How are you?" I want to know. People are amazed that I stop and listen, and if they don't say anything, I ask again. Individuals comment that most people don't care when they ask, so they'll only respond with "fine." Then I ask them to back up a minute. They can't brush me off with "fine" unless they are fine. With somebody who doesn't seem okay, it is why I'm asking. I dig a little deeper. I want to see how I may be able to assist their business and the individual as well. I have contacts I can connect them with if need be. When I work with clients, this is a rule for me. I ask them how they are when we start each session. They can't say fine, okay or not bad. They have to talk to me.

Health, wellness and fitness have always been a big part of my life. Being able to persevere, not miss time at work, or pass work to others when I've had an accident, procedure or surgery has been part of my success. Taking care of ourselves is paramount. It means resting both our mind and body, eating nutritious food, including things that make us smile and laugh in our day, plus time with family and friends. I recently received an invitation to a hockey game, the first large outing in two years. It was so much fun! Then this past week, I went on a Christmas outing with a friend to see "The Tenors," a wonderful evening out, part of my fun time. It's not that I do big tours every week, but we must do things that we enjoy that make us smile. Smiling is good for us. Smiling not only offers a mood boost but helps our bodies release cortisol and endorphins that provide numerous health benefits, including:

• Reduced blood pressure
• Increased endurance
• Reduced pain
• Reduced stress
• Strengthened immune system

 (Source: https://www.henryford.com/blog/2017/10/health-benefits-smiling)

We deal with things that make us stressed, tired or unhappy. It is essential to counteract bad with the good. That's where taking care of yourself and enjoying some time out, or whatever fun and relaxing means for you.

Smiling is the other thing that keeps us happy. I know it sounds silly, but those take it to heart. Did you know smiling takes less of a toll on your body and mental health? There are many physical and psychological benefits to smiling. (Source: https://lowrydental.com/smiling-vs-frowning/)

Spreading the Care

Next time you're walking down the street, smile at someone passing you.

When you say "Hello, how are you" to someone in the future, pause and wait for the answer. If somebody's having a bad day, they may need your help, an ear, or only to know that somebody cares.  

It may be difficult to stop yourself from making "How are you" a greeting. Putting in the effort will be well worth it whether you're online, in-person networking, or out having some fun. You'll find that you have more meaningful conversations when you care about them and listen. 

Michelle Ricketts